BARNFLAKES

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Aspire to be average

Mostly, we’re constantly told to excel – at school, by parents, friends, at work, advertising, TV, films; what matters, if we want the car, the girl (or boy), the career, the cash – excellence is what is required. To be the best – you must be ruthless, career-driven – in short, you must be boring and selfish. But not everyone can be the best.

Better to be average. Aspire to be average. Average is wholesome, good, heck, average is 99.9% of us – though none of us would ever admit to it, because perhaps none of us are really. Well, either all of us are average or none of us are. Average people, on average, live longer and are happier. Extreme, non-average people, such as (say) artists and musicians, are depressed, miserable and burnt out. They fail at relationships. They go into rehab. They fail at life. They may even kill themselves. Or die young.

Every human endeavour, ‘achievement’ and action is detrimental to the planet. Every invention, object, shop – every item we buy is in someway damaging the earth. Better for the environment for humans to do as little as possible. Ants and bees are more vital to the planet than humans. The world is better off without us.

With population growth one of the many problems facing the planet’s future, there’s going to be a lot more average people (and only a few more best ones). A child’s traditional ambition of ‘I want to be an astronaut/fireman/nurse/on Big Brother’ may become a thing of the past: ‘I want to be nothing’ may be the only way forward. They’ll be no room to do anything else. In fact, forget average: aspire to be nothing: absolutely nothing, it’s the only way to save the planet. I’m doing my bit.