BARNFLAKES

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Public transport courtesy cards

You know how it is – you’re on any form of public transport and someone, somewhere, on your train or bus, is annoying you by – say – blocking the doors, eating smelly food, speaking or listening to music too loudly, not moving along the aisle, tapping on their phone, spreading their legs out too wide on a seat or having their bag on an unoccupied seat.

Of course, being British, we’ve learnt to ignore such annoyances; though we may want to scream at them, civilised society suggests otherwise. Even asking someone to turn their music down would at best disturb the otherwise silence of the carriage and result in possible embarrassment; at worst it could (it actually has!) result in a stabbing.

The solution is these passive-aggressive cards – simply print and cut them out, then surreptitiously hand one out to the offending passenger as you’re leaving the carriage, then leg it down the platform.